Cars And Colognes: What Dad Doesn't Want For Fathers' Day

June 11, 2012

Fathers' Day is this Sunday, June 17, so if you haven’t already hit the internet in search of the perfect gift, you’ll likely be shopping locally or paying dearly for expedited delivery.

When it comes to choosing the right gift, there are a few absolutes. Even if dad still wears a tie to work, giving him a tie is a really, really bad idea. First, he’s probably got enough ties already, and few gifts say “I’ve given up after running out of ideas” quite like a new necktie.

The other gift that falls into this category is aftershave or cologne. If dad is one of the few remaining guys who still wear aftershave on a regular basis, chances are he has his own brand that he’s been wearing for years.

You may think that dad will like a new sports-car-honoring cologne that smells of sandalwood, spices and patchouli, but he’ll probably think it smells like mustard gas and sweat socks.

Besides, we’ve given enough advice to know that people want affirmation, not advice. For those of you who are going to buy dad a new aftershave anyway, here’s our guide to automotive-themed men's fragrances, complete with scent descriptions.


Automotive-themed men's fragrances

Automotive-themed men's fragrances


Mustang Cologne: You don't have to have a barn find to smell like one, or so we gather. Not for Camaro fans, Mustang allegedly smells of ginger, patchouli, lemon, tobacco, amber, lavender, balsam and cedar.

 


Automotive-themed men's fragrances

Automotive-themed men's fragrances


Corvette Cologne: Called “woody,” as if it were a good thing to smell like a logging site, Corvette smells like a blend of aromatic woods. Which, we suppose, is better than smelling of burning rubber and fiberglass resin--or the crushed hopes and dreams of cocktail waitresses everywhere.

 

Automotive-themed men's fragrances

Automotive-themed men's fragrances


Cadillac Cologne: Another “woody” fragrance, Cadillac smells of ebony, cloves and incense, followed by grapefruit and chamomile. At the heart of the scent are notes of geranium, tarragon and cinnamon. Call us narrow-minded, but that’s way more complexity than we want to splash on our face.

 


Automotive-themed men's fragrances

Automotive-themed men's fragrances


Jaguar Cologne: In a perfect world, Jaguar cologne would smell like old leather, unspent hydrocarbons and hot castor oil, and maybe the blood of smaller mammals. Instead, it’s a spicy blend of lavender, lavender, grapefruit, gardenia, cedar, spruce, leather and fern.

 


Automotive-themed men's fragrances

Automotive-themed men's fragrances


Lamborghini Cologne: “Refreshing and fruity,” oddly like an umbrella drink, Lamborghini Cologne smells of fresh citrus, blended with spice and aromatic woods. What that has to do with Italian supercars, we have absolutely no idea.

 


Automotive-themed men's fragrances

Automotive-themed men's fragrances


Ferrari Black Cologne: Probably the best seller of all the automotive-themed fragrances, Ferrari Black has a sharp note that blends aromatic woods with a mossy undernote--because no one wants to smell like a stable, even if it is Italian.

 

 

Automotive-themed men's fragrances

Automotive-themed men's fragrances


Maserati Cologne: Called “virile and sportive” by the manufacturer, Maserati smells of leather, vetiver (an Indian grass - we had to look it up as well) and cedar. There’s no truth to the rumor that it’s simple a more distilled version of Ferrari cologne.

 


 


Automotive-themed men's fragrances

Automotive-themed men's fragrances


HUMMER Cologne: The truck may be gone, but the fragrance it inspired lives on. Meant for “rugged, masculine” wearers, HUMMER blends cardamom, thyme, tonka bean, leather, amber and sandalwood to create an “invigorating” and “fresh” scent.

 


Automotive-themed men's fragrances

Automotive-themed men's fragrances


Carrera Cologne: We’ll avoid the cynicism on this fragrance, since members of the High Gear Media staff are known to have bottles of this in their own bathrooms. The manufacturer says it has a spicy smell, mixing aromatic citrus with hints of wood and spice. All we know is that it’s not strong enough to singe our nostril hair, and isn’t all that common.

 

Automotive-themed men's fragrances

Automotive-themed men's fragrances


Porsche Design Cologne: Dubbed “contemporary” and “chic”, Porsche Design Essence starts with a base of balsam, incense and patchouli before adding pine, pepper and coriander, finishing with juniper and blueberry.  

Did we miss any auto-themed fragrances in our semi-comprehensive listing? Care to add an opinion if you wear one of these colognes? Drop us a reply and let us know.

Image credit: Flickr user asenat29, licensed under Creative Commons 2.0.

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