Seven Best Quotes From BBC Top Gear and Jeremy Clarkson

December 21, 2009

The BBC's Top Gear television show is an endless source of entertainment, debate, and amusement for car fans all over the world. As is its tall, acerbic, and frequently profane host, Jeremy Clarkson. Just a brief browse through his columns will prove the point.

It's important to remember that Top Gear isn't journalism; it's entertainment. They've been known to fake cars, edit video to advantage, and even offer illegal advice a time or two.

But they're very, very good at being entertaining--racing in a Porsche Panamera against a letter they've just posted, for instance. Here are seven of our favorite Top Gear quotes:

2009 Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren

2009 Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren

2009 Corvette ZR1 burns rubber

2009 Corvette ZR1 burns rubber

1. "I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you've got even half a scrotum it's not going to happen."

2. [On the Porsche Boxster] "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom."

3. [On the Porsche Cayenne] "I've seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!"

4. [When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel] "It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails."

5. [On a Chevrolet Corvette] "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won't let me turn the traction control off!"

6. "If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends' houses so they don't see its backside."

7. [On Detroit] "God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place."

And for 18 more that didn't quite make our cut, see the full 25 that RideLust identified as the all-time best.


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