Nativity with GPS
You see, unbenownst to us, those nativity sets and menorahs you see in front yards around town are big targets for thievery. That wouldn't be so bad if the displays were the plastic kind your Aunt Sylvia used to haul out every year, but these days, people are putting $2,000 hand-crafted Italian statuettes on their front lawns. Theft of that kind is a spicy meatball, indeed.
Solution? The LightningGPS system, which BrickHouse Security has begun allowing religious organizations to use for free in order to tag the items they display. Since that GPS system was initially designed to track the location of fleet trucks and rebellious teens, deploying it to find meddling kids (at least we assume they're kids) and their getaway cars seems somehow appropriate--not to mention totally laudable. Last year, a church using similar methods nabbed an 18-year-old woman who'd stolen a Jesus figure in Florida. We could make all kinds of gags about teen mothers and immaculate conceptions, but it's Friday, so we're going to rise above it. Feel free to get all kinds of heretical in the comments area, though.