4Sale, Low Mileage, Machine Guns May Need Work

November 18, 2005
Where's Goldfinger when you need him?

Maybe I was a little too young at the time, my 11-year-old's motorhead hormones kicking into gear sooner than the rest of my youthful genes. But while some of my prebuscenet buddies were slobbering over a bikinied Ursula Andress in those early James Bond flicks, "Goldfinger," and "Thunderball," I was falling in love with that incredible, 1964 DB5 sports car driven by the impossibly slick and cool super-spy, Bond. James Bond.

Even today, there are times when I'm fantasizing -- usually while stuck in traffic -- about that car. Heck, when the guy in front is moving 6 mph, who wouldn't want to have hydraulic over-rider front bumpers, and if that didn't get noticed, front firing .30 caliber Browning machine guns; or wheel-mounted tire slashers for the guy cutting in and out of your lane. Tailgaters? No problem, with the oil slick ejector and triple-spiked nails that blew out from behind the right rear taillights. And bored by your passenger's inane conversation? No problem, just hit the ejector seat button and you'll only have to listen to the wind through the open sunroof. For more adventurous souls, the Bond DB5 also had a retractable bulletproof screen, onboard radar, and even a phone built-into its secret compartment. Heck, this in 1964!

Previously the property of Sir Anthony Bamford, the DB5 has spent the last 35 years on display at the Smoky Mountain Car Museum of Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, of all places. Imagine parking a car like that for all those years! So, when the press release landed in my mailbox today announcing the Bond car was up for auction, I was ready to schedule my ticket and head to Phoenix. It's one of several sets of celebrity wheels, also including Al Capone's 1928 Cadillac Town Sedan, that RM Auctions will drive across the block on January 20th, 2006.

Then reality hit as hard as a shot from Odd Job's hat. The folks at RM estimate the Bond car will collect a cool $1.5 million to $2.5 million when the gavel hammers down. I wonder if Goldfinger might be willing to write me a loan. I could offer him a really good website as collateral. Then again, I remember what happens if you don't pay him back. I guess I'll have to settle for the diecast model, the DVD and a nice martini. Stirred, of course. Not shaken.

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