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7 Unholy Pairings Of Cars & Couture Page 3

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Harley Davidson Ford F-150

Look, we have nothing against Harley Davidson (thought we have our doubts about its credibility as a fashion house).

Nor do we have any beef with the F-150. If you're in the market for a truck, by all means, put it on your short list.

No, we dinged this special edition because the F-150 owners in our families have a tendency to... Well, let's just say that they do plenty of driving on two wheels as it is. They don't need any more encouragement. 

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Maserati GranTurismo Convertible Fendi
Is this ride exclusive? Sure.

Is it expensive? You bet'cha.

It is luxurious? Meh.

You see, Fendi isn't a fashion line for wallflowers. It's mad, bad, and dangerous to know. Little Italian ladies in Fendi's ateliers spend long days stitching premium leather by hand and harvesting fur from animals previously thought to be extinct.

So you'd expect Fendi's mashup with Maserati to be a little brash, like the love child of Silvio Berlusconi and Simon Cowell. (Not that they're dating. Well, not that know of. Why? What have you heard?)

And yet, the Fendi GranTurismo Convertible is, well, dull. Premium leather? Okay, we can get that anywhere. Wood trim? We're falling asleep over here. Gray paint? Strike three. Basta.

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Fiat 500 by Gucci
Sorry, Italy, but you've landed two in a row. By our estimation the Fiat 500 by Gucci may be the worst fashion pairing in recent memory. (Even worse than the Hermès Smart fortwo, which somehow fell off our radar.)

Why is the Fiat 500 by Gucci so bad? Let us count the ways:

1. Gucci is luxury. Fiat is not.

2. Gucci is vulgar but not common. Fiat is common but not vulgar.

3. Gucci is sleek and overtly sexy. Fiat is cute and bubbly, no matter how hard it tries. Fiat is the Miley Cyrus bridesmaid to Jennifer Lopez, professional bridezilla. (Which is ironic because of J-Lo's relationship with Fiat, but work with us here.)

About the only thing we can say about the Fiat 500 by Gucci is that it's the perfect size for Gucci models. Which isn't enough to save it from the bottom spot on our list.

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Did we miss one? Surely we did. Drop us a line or leave a note in the comments below.


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Comments (8)
  1. The Levi's gremlins were kind of cool, though I remember my adolescent disappointment that the seat fabric wasn't really denim which I'm now sure wouldn't work for a variety of reasons. The idea worked even better on the Levi's Jeep CJ-5, another AMC product at the time. In all cases I thought the Levi's logo on the front fender was a bit much. It should have been just a tiny vertical tag just inside the hatch shut-line
     
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    Bad stuff?

  2. Here's my list:
    Gucci Seville
    Oleg Cassini AMC Matador
    Nautica Mercury Villager
    FILA Thunderbird (It wasn't available as a Turbo)
    VOGA Mercury Milan
    Frank Sinatra Chrysler Imperial
    ...every single person who lists their plain-jane Lincoln for sale as a "Cartier" because it says Cartier on the clock.
     
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  3. Ha! You'll be happy to know that the Cassini Matador almost made the cut.
     
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    Bad stuff?

  4. What about the Pierre Cardin Javelins? Sweeet!
     
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  5. Bingo. Huge omission from the list. I can see the Fila Thunderbird from the 80's missing the cut, though.
     
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  6. Which reminds me of the Gucci Hornets - Ugh.
    Lets also add:
    Eddie Bauer Ford Anything
    LL Bean Subaru Outbacks
    Orvis Grand Cherokee
     
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  7. What about the "Funkmaster Flex Ford Expedition", what a turd that one was...how did that miss the radar?
     
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  8. Perhaps our brains erased that abomination from our memories in an act of self-preservation. To which we say: thanks, brains.
     
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