Love on 4 Wheels: the Ultimate Valentine's Day Ride

February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day is here, and people all over the globe get suckered into marketing ploys meant to to relieve you of money so you can give it to a retailer in exchange for a heart-shaped gift made in China so that your significant other doesn't tear you a new one for yet another transgression real or imagined.

I have scoured the Internet, the one great source of information in our universe where truth is whatever someone else says it is, to hunt for occurrences of really great examples of true love for one's spouse, or conversely, one's vehicle, which I guess for many of us is the same as a spouse.

Oddly, I didn't find all that much worth writing about. I could have written about the love between car owner and car, and how in many cases it surpasses the love between man and wife. We all know that cars are most males first love, but that is a debate for another time. And hat would have been boring for you, the reader. Sure, as I surfed a few nice Hallmark and Old Spice commercials came up, but they were sappy and made me want to grab for my bottle of schnapps to kill the sickly sweet taste of marketing manipulation. And I looked high and low for other examples on my favorite site, YouTube, and there were very few examples of any commercials that were either good or Valentine's Day-related. And I thought to myself, how come the automotive advertising world hasn't leaped on this like a a pack of hyenas on a wounded baby gazelle smothered in BBQ sauce?

Nothing from Mercedes, Porsche, BMW, or even my favorite, VW. GM, Ford, Hyundai, Toyota, Nissan or Honda? Zero, zip, zilch, nada, gournischt, effess, null. Well, there was something from Dodge, which you can check out here, but that wasn't really Valentine's Day in theme. More about jilted lovers, so maybe not such good Valentine's Day material.

So I am amazed that an opportunity to score points with both sexes and make money is overlooked -- the car industry has missed a glorious chance. Which severely limits what I can blog about and make fun of. I am left with a news story from India about a guy who made a novelty Valentine's day car for Indian couples (pretty damn funny), a great old SNL commercial with a young comedic genius named Chris Parnell, about the Mercury Mistress. In fact, this SNL ad may be the best non-commercial commercial ever aired.

Happy Valentine's Day to you who have pried their wallets open and bought the car of their dreams, because that is true love if you ask me. None of this "until death do us part" crap. And Happy Valentine's Day to all of of you who shelled out for a gift to make your significant other happy so you don't have to sleep on the couch again and you can go out into your car with your real first love.

Enjoy!

Valentine's Car Love

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