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NO VIDEO WANTED: Mini Penile Punishment

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Anyone with an Internet connection, an RSS feed, or who has a fondness for the bizarre, the sick, and the depraved has certainly heard of the German gentleman who won a Mini Cooper in a contest by having his male member tattooed with word ‘Mini’ while it was broadcast - screams and all - to radio listeners from the tattoo parlor.

Yes, you read that right. And when I read about this feat of colossal stupidity just to win a car, naturally all kind of sophomoric jokes popped to mind, and I asked myself if he had this done while his purple microphone was flaccid or erect. Jokes popped up a-plenty in my twisted mind about him asking for a font size of 72 pt used so it would be fully legible in the event he could get excited again after the scars healed, so he could whip it out and brag about his Mini-Me to the women.

But I digress. What really got me thinking was, apart from the fact that this infamy-seeking, Teutonic dolt will go down in the annals of automotive history for tattooing his tinker toy, was what kind of passion does this car, this brand, inspire in people. It’s amazing what Mini has wrought in just a short period of time. With great products, phenomenal advertising, and cult of loyal followers, Mini has built a mini-empire.

Upon deeper reflection, I wondered just how responsible the Mini ads were in making this fun yet wee runabout a powerful, desirable automotive sex symbol? Have the brilliant ads contributed to making the Mini even more desirable, so much so, that a man would mercilessly maim his manhood (say that 5 times fast) just to possess one of these cars? I mean, if it were a Bugatti Type 57S Atlantique, or a Hispano-Suiza, or a Ferrari 458, or a Bugatti Veyron SS, ok, I could see the self-sacrifice. But a Mini?

Well, maybe it was their intention. Have a look at the ads below and see if you agree that Mini’s marketing muscle (no pun intended) was indeed focusing on what the car is supposed to represent to its owners. In short, the Mini as a little sex bomb.

[The Car Connection]

Sexy Mini Ads

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