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The 2010 Ford Edge: A Misnomer So Criminal as to Verge On Chrome Logo Abuse

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There have been some goofy automotive names in the past that either didn't mean much of anything (Cimarron, Catera) or were just plain stupid (Chevy Nova which means doesn't run in Spanish). But never before has an automaker designed a vehicle that is so not exemplified by its name. Behold the Ford Edge! With no edges.

One must assume that this blob-ular crossover was meant to come across as edgy, what with its gaudy chrome bars on the front. These chrome bars appear to be there only to serve as a reminder of your days wearing braces at age 13. Seen from all angles, however, it becomes clear that the Ford Edge was inspired by a hippopotamus wearing braces. You know, if Ugly Betty can wear them so can animals on the Serengeti.

The interior isn't all that much better. The interior is such a drunkenly discordant mix of shapes that it looks like Paula Abdul herself designed it. There is some soft touch plastic but not one feature that hasn't been done before better and with far greater style. Kind of as is true of Paula Abdul.

The problem with the Edge is that while there is nothing horribly wrong about it, there is nothing really right about it either. It embodies the term fair to middling. And that just doesn't cut it in a market segment with more competition than your average season of 'So You Think You Can Dance?'

The Taurus, Fusion, Mustang, F-150, Flex and upcoming Fiesta show Ford has the stuff to be world class. There is just no way anyone outside of this country would ever think this SUV looks cool. And if Ford's plans for making each of its vehicles a world car (meaning it sells in every market with minimal changes), the next Ford Edge had better take a hint from its name and turn this aging hippopotamus into a lithe cougar. (The animal, not the kind you are thinking of.)

P.S. Where's the Ecoboost option Ford? People don't care about build quality when they have that much horsepower.

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