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2012 Chevrolet Volt SS: First Peek!

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2012 Chevrolet Volt SS

2012 Chevrolet Volt SS

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It seems like only last year that TheCarConnection.com brought you the first, exclusive shots of the production 2011 Chevrolet Volt. And just yesterday that we drove the first Volt prototypes. That's because it actually was both, and yep, you ARE paying attention, fantastic.

So look here: today TCC has the scoop--and the wing, and the prayer--on what's in store for the 2012 Chevrolet Volt SS. "Supersport," that is. If it ever comes about. If GM avoids Chapter 11. If the 2011 Volt makes it out the door. A lot of ifs there, we know.

Our green-car guru John Voelcker also speculated--for serious--about what exactly a Volt SS would entail, but we like ours better.

You think it's silly now to think about an extended-range electric vehicle with Talladega-blistering horsepower, right? Probably not if you're a Chevy dealer and are going to have to sell a $40,000 four-door that accelerates from 0 to 60 mph in about as much time as today's Malibu. So pardon us for dreaming about the SS--it's going to happen, you know it has to happen, and don't come crying to us when it appears wearing checkered flags on the seat and Dale Jr.'s signature on the seats.

Best bets for the future Volt SS? Here's what we're saying:

1) Power, power, power: You'll feel like Homer Simpson when Chevrolet ditches the Volt's 1.4-liter four for real, gently harnessed nuclear fission. Acceleration times to 60 mph? Get out the fractionometer. How does 0.6 seconds sound? Dangerous? Yep. Probably so.

2) A big-ass rear wing. Because you can't spell "ass" without SS.

3) Super new paint job! It's the radar-evading stuff they put on the Stealth bomber. They can't get you out of laser radar tickets, but GM is willing to help out with a $1.2 million exterior shade of matt black. Twin hood flames optional.

4) A touch of green: the 2012 Chevrolet Volt SS is no slouch when it comes to the environment. That's a real Pottery Barn seagrass rug glued to the roof. it's recyclable and it costs $699 ($899 for 8 x 12, with free shipping).

5) A secret weapon: Even with nuclear power, you need something to get this electric-gas hybrid really cooking. Our best bet? Chevy skips tires and straps balloon animals to the wheels. Run it over strips of carpet in your garage (installed while you're running 220V service at home, natch) and the balloon's static electricity charges four supercapacitors for a jolt of lighting-like power at the touch of a red button on the steering wheel. WARNING: do not confuse button for HYPERSPACE aftermarket option available from GM Performance Accessories.

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Comment (1)
  1. "shockingly fast..."

    What about the integrated defibrillators? Best PR move ever. Even Dick Cheney would start loving GM.
     
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