Paris: I Only Wanted an In-N-Out, Not a DUI

September 7, 2006

Paris. Paris Hilton. God, why do we even care? Do we love her for the carefully planned carelessness of her publicity stunts, from homemade porno to warmed-over disco—or is it for her human failings? Hilton was pulled over for driving under the influence in Hollywood on Thursday morning after being spotted driving erratically. And of course, saintly sister Nicky came to bail her out. Hilton’s publicist said later that Paris had only imbibed one margarita after a video shoot and might have been weaving like a Sioux artisan in an unlikely quest for food. “Maybe I was speeding a little bit and I got pulled over. I was just really hungry and I wanted to have an In-N-Out burger,” Hilton told radio station KIIS-FM, subtly bitch-slapping her former employer, Carl’s Jr. Hilton has yet to be charged for failing sobriety tests—or for that matter, for crimes committed in the recording of her new album.

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