Mechanic’s Tale: Winter Maintenance

As the Wehrmacht bears down on Moscow, Russia ’s oldest, most reliable soldier, General Winter, comes to her rescue. The sudden drop to sub-zero temperature has caused the German machinery of death to grind to a halt. The oil has turned to a Jell-O-like substance in the crankcases of the tanks, trucks, and aircraft. Radiators and blocks have frozen and cracked. The very fuel has frozen in the lines and the poorly prepared German army is thrown back from the gates of Moscow . The world is saved.

What’s that? Turn down the History Channel – I think your wife’s trying to tell you the car won’t start!

Cold and death cold

Most of America does not live in the area that experiences death cold, where failure to take proper care in the winter can lead to death or serious consequences. I do not presume to know the tips to survival there, but Darwin will take care of that. Where the rest of us live, winter is just a bloody nuisance that makes us long for some real global warming. But until then, here’s the expected advice.

·         Have your battery tested, and if it’s more than three years old, just replace it.

·         Time your tire replacement for fall, so that you go into winter with a fresh set of treads.

·         Replace your windshield wiper blades and don’t forget the one on the rear, if you have one. And for goodness sake, don’t try to cheap out and just replace the rubber insert. They always wind up streaking and smearing if you do that.

·         Antifreeze, oil, and fluids should be checked and serviced as needed.

·         Belts, hoses, and items likely to suffer from cold cracking should be checked.

·         Doors, hinges, and locks should be lubricated.

·         Lighting, especially all those little marker lights, should be working to make you as visible as possible.

·         Make sure the batteries in your keyless entry or remote starter are new.

You may not know this, but most fast-lube places fill your windshield washer reservoirs with what’s no better than blue water in the summer, and if temperatures drop too fast, you’ll be caught with frozen washer lines or a fluid that just freezes on the cold windshield, making the situation worse. Go buy a couple of gallons of the good washer fluid that melts ice, evacuate your washer reservoir by holding the washer switch until it’s empty, then pour the good stuff in. Be sure to carry at least an extra gallon, because if you’ve ever been caught in a dirty snow or slush storm, it goes fast.

And if you have nice carpet, particularly that saddle or light tan the car makers love, get some good rubber floor mats so you don’t ruin your carpet.

Be sure to have a well-stocked emergency kit in your trunk, which you can find at any car parts store or most drug stores, in the event your careful preparations couldn’t keep you from getting stuck in a snowdrift.

Finally, make sure your cellphone is fully charged and that you have a working car adapter for it.

Now you’re ready

The first cold day has arrived. You walk confidently out to your well-prepared car to unlock it... @#$&*!  The lock is frozen!  But instead of losing your cool, you walk calmly to the passenger door and thank your lucky stars that your car is still old enough to have a passenger door lock which works perfectly well because you never use it. You slide across the seats, turn the key on, and she starts. Resist the temptation to immediately open the frozen driver’s door or put a window down. Just close the passenger door and sit with the engine running for a minute or two.

It’s a clear cold day, so there’s no ice or frost on the windows. Use your nose. Do you smell anything unusual, particularly gasoline? A light wisp of a gasoline smell is normal on a cold day, but a heavy persistent smell means a leak.

I mention this because it is quite common for vehicles that showed no signs of fuel leaks to suddenly develop severe leaks from the injector o-rings, injectors, or even the fuel lines on the first cold day. Jeep Cherokees were famous for this. Just like the Space Shuttle Challenger, the O-rings and seals contract and harden in the cold, leading to leaks. My LeBaron convertible had a gasoline smell strong enough to drive you out of the car, yet when I would get to the shop ten minutes later and open the hood, there was no visible sign or smell. Finally, one cold morning I opened the hood prior to starting the engine. I started the car and ran around to the front in time to see gasoline spraying in a beautiful atomized mist, perfect for combustion, out of one of the fuel lines. It’s a miracle I didn’t have a fire. So take gasoline smells seriously.

Okay, so where was I? Oh yes, it’s a clear cold day so no window cleaning is necessary. Just a couple minutes of warm-up and off you go. By the time you reach your destination your frozen door will open with no effort and the power windows I told you not to touch will work fine.

But let’s say there’s real snow. Once you’ve started the car, put the defroster on but don’t put the blower on high blast and the temperature on incinerate. Put the blower on a medium setting and the temperature about two-thirds of the way, so you warm the windshield slowly so as not to crack it.

Before you get out to use the nice long-reach brush you bought to clear the car off, turn the emergency flashers on so the fool coming up the street half asleep doesn’t plow into you. Once your windows are clear, all lights visible, and most of the loose snow off the hood and roof, off you go – to the nearest large uninhabited parking lot to get a feel for how your car really behaves in snow. Hopefully this is a parking lot you know well so you’re not likely to hit a snow-covered concrete barrier.

If you have anti-lock brakes (as most modern cars do) get yourself up to about 10 or 15 miles per hour and slam on the brakes. What a disturbing feeling! Even though you’ve owned the car three years, you never felt this. The brake pedal is buzzing and pushing back up against your foot and you’re feeling little kicks as the car jinks slightly side to side, but always staying more or less straight, until it comes to a stop.

Do this repeatedly until that disturbing feeling no longer disturbs you, because the antilock brakes are bringing the car to a stop quicker and straighter then you ever could, but the feeling is so disturbing you may have an impulse to release the brake pedal or pump the brakes, and you must overcome the impulse!

Many cars with anti-lock brakes also have traction control, which uses both the brakes and engine power modulating to keep the car stable. There may be a switch to turn the traction control off. See how differently (worse) the car behaves with the traction control off. The switch is there because under certain conditions such as trying to rock the car out of deep snow the traction control will actually prevent the wheels from spinning enough to accomplish this. And a word about “rocking” out of deep snow. Take it easy, giving the car frequent rests in neutral to cool the transmission down so you don’t smoke it.

And remember that all-wheel drive, traction control, and anti-lock brakes are truly wonderful innovations, especially to one who drove a ’73 Duster with bald tires, but these things do not repeal Newton ’s Laws of Motion, and vehicles with these features can and do skid, slide, crash, and roll over – and get stuck in snow drifts. Especially when driven by angry little suburban girls with bad attitudes flipping everyone off as they go down the road. Sorry – that must have been a flashback. 

Doug Flint owns and operates Tune-Up Technology, a garage in Alexandria, Va., and he will change his wife’s wiper blades first thing Monday.    

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