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Opinion: Hang Up and Drive! by Eric Peters (2/9/2004)
What's the only thing wrong with talking and driving? Everything. 

More TCC Tips

Old age and treachery beat youth and inexperience on the road as well as off. To keep your teen from getting ahead of themselves, consider some of these safety tips gleaned from the experience of one who's been there and done that:

Start teaching early. Don't wait until your son or daughter is 15 to begin thinking about imparting wisdom about the rules of the road. As soon as they are old enough to understand, point things out to them while you're out for a drive, such as the meaning of traffic signs, who goes first at a four-way, how to merge safely into traffic and so on. When you witness another driver making a mistake, tell your kids what the other driver was doing wrong and what he should have done instead. For example, when someone runs a red light or fails to yield to faster-moving traffic, point it out and take the time to explain why these things are not merely rude, but also dangerous and could lead to an accident.

Provide a good example. Children are highly imitative and will take their cues from what they see you do behind the wheel. If you're the kind of driver who tailgates, weaves in and out of traffic and throws "the finger" (or worse) at your fellow motorists, you can bet your kids will follow that example when they get their turn behind the wheel - irrespective of what they're taught by anyone else. Conversely, if you behave like an adult behind the wheel and convey the idea that driving is serious business not to be taken lightly, it's a good bet your progeny will, too. Show consideration for other drivers; maintain an appropriate following distance between your vehicle and the one ahead. Let others merge ahead of you when they signal instead of jamming down the gas pedal to cut them off. It won't be necessary to browbeat your kids when they reach driving age; they'll already have a good sense of what's right and what not to do.

Get them started young. Most states allow a teen to get a learner's permit sometime between their 15th and 16th birthdays, but a few months of occasional "behind the wheel" experience is at best marginal preparation for today's chaotic, fast-paced, and often dangerous driving environment. Even though it's not technically legal, it's not a bad idea to begin easing your teen into the world of driving much sooner than that. How soon will depend on the kid's relative maturity, but tightly supervised "parking lot driver's ed" classes can begin at age 14 or so in most cases. The more "seat time" a teen has between the first time he gets behind the wheel and the day he gets his license, the more the odds stack up in his favor out on the road. Experience is an invaluable teacher, especially with you there to serve as guide.

Make them learn to drive a stick. There is probably no single thing that will impart the eye-hand skills and coordination necessary to safely operate a motor vehicle than learning to master a manual transmission. Prior to the 1980s, when manual transmissions were much more common, most people learned to drive in stick-shift cars. And they were probably better drivers as a result, since they had developed higher-order skills than simply pushing down on a gas pedal. One acquires an instinctive "feel" for a car after having learned to drive a stick that just isn't there with automatic-equipped cars. Anyone who can come to a stop on a steep incline in a stick-shift car, then drive away smoothly without rolling the car backward into the one sitting behind him, can drive. A person who can't do that probably shouldn't be behind the wheel.

Send them to driving school. It's a great idea to enroll your teen in a private driving school such as those run by Skip Barber, Bob Bondurant, and other professional drivers, as opposed to the "driver's ed" programs set up by the state. In driving school, teens learn vital accident avoidance techniques and how to maintain control of a car during emergency situations, such as when having to make a violent lane change to avoid hitting another car. Most "driver's ed" programs, in contrast, focus on bureaucratic rules such as driving the speed limit or how many feet to keep behind a school bus. These things are important, but not nearly as important and knowing how to handle a panic stop, or what to do if the car goes into a skid. It's much better to be able to drive around an accident than to have one - but many teens end up learning the hard way.

Hold them responsible. With the freedom that comes with a set of car keys ought to come responsibilities. Make it clear that bad decisions - getting into an accident caused by recklessness, or doing anything reckless that could cause an accident -will result in forfeiture of driving privileges. Tie school performance to access to the family car: get an "F" and take the bus. It's also an excellent idea to "vest" a teen driver by insisting that he or she assume at least partial responsibility for the cost of the vehicle, especially the cost to insure it. Ideally, the cost would be borne entirely by the teen so that he will have a strong incentive to take good care of the car and to avoid getting any traffic tickets that would result in higher premiums. One of the worst mistakes a parent can make is to give a 16-year-old a shiny new car, all paid for and ready to wreck.

Set boundaries. Certain high-risk situations are accidents waiting to happen for teenage drivers - for example, the late-night party where alcohol is sure to be on-hand no matter what the legal age is for possession of beer. Then there's the "road trip" where a gaggle of teens pile into one car for an extended jaunt, another idea that's about as sound as a three-pack-per-day habit. Insist that your under-18 teen use the car for legitimate reasons only - for example, attending after school activities or going to a part-time job. Parties are out, and the car should be off-limits after a certain "curfew time" mutually agreed upon, such as 10 p.m., which will reduce the chances of it being used as a conveyance for liquored-up teenage boys with no concept of death.

Ultimately, parents have the right to allow or forbid access to a car as they deem fit. Driving is a privilege, not a right and should be treated accordingly.